The Christmas ball took place at Bar M in Putney on Saturday night.

The wine and the compliments flowed freely all evening, as well as a few cheesy chat up lines. The ladies all looked fantastic, and the few men looked, well, like they do every year - like penguins.

A special award was presented to Katy for "club member of the year" for her unstinting efforts in making the club a better place to be. We tried to get her to do an acceptance speech, but all we got was "thank you" and a bit of a lump in her throat ?

As of Sunday PM - no scandal has yet surfaced, give it time......

Kelly got drunk, Jenny went home with a basket on her head, Sarah went home, but did not appear to know where she lived.......

Basket case.



You snogged who !!!!!



Any mans dream combo.

Kelly discovers alcohol lowers inhibitions and reduces shyness

Ali & Kelly competed in this years Scullers Head - from Chiswick down to Putney, possibly the hardest Head of them all.

Kelly borrowed Theresa's "club" Empacher.

Here are a couple of shots of the ladies in action.
 

A few of the ladies did a recent "test" to see how evil they are.

These are the results:

10%
16%
16%
38%
40%
44%

And in alphabetical order, the people who took the test

Annelise
Elle
Jenny
Katy
Kelly
Mary

Now obviously, 46% was Annelise, but can you match the results to the other people ? Getting just 10% is quite frankly pathetic - GET OUT MORE !!!

The webmaster had a quick go and got the following result - amazing !! He / she particularly liked the question "you've made fun of a fat person" - may have picked up a percent or two on that one.

You Are 54% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

 

It appears that it is Nero's in Barnes (or indeed, any major coffee house chain in any high street).

A "low fat" person, or "skinny" to use the correct Barista term, was having a relaxing read of the Independent (coz it was free, not through choice) - getting some informed editorial on prison reform and the weaknesses of the current judicial system, when in waddled a bunch of ladies carrying what can only be described as "excess weight" about the abdominal area. Then - one of them spoke to me !! - it was none other than our "soon to drop" Annabelle, a one time favourite on many a Cygnets top 5 totty list. To be fair, from the neck up, she is still a stunner and would I am sure, still turn many a mans head.

They joined the other Barnes ladies in having a nice coffee, several muffins and a chat about, well, babies to be honest, because that is the world they now live in. Elsewhere in the comfy seats sat a women breastfeeding whilst reading the Guardian, and two others with very young children in Porsche type 4x4 prams, blocking the safety exits and generally causing a nuisance. The webmaster left.
 

Sunday was the Veterans turn.

As is now usual, Jackie Darling stroked a composite Vet C Quad to victory. Well done.

Six BBLRC boats entered this year - maybe a record ? - who knows as no one keeps records (admin is for losers...). The weather was kind, the organisation fantastic and the draw a slight pain as a few of us had to go off very (the last boat...) late.

As always, Katy Katering was in full swing, with Katie (who spells her name correctly...) and friend serving up bacon butties till the sun went down. Marion also seemed to be "doing things" all day" - thank you. Tammy boated over 60 boats with her usual ruthless efficiency.

One day, we must teach club members how to connect the gas to the BBQ - causes problems every event !!!

As usual, many many stars on the day, so thank you all.

Margaret had a surprise outing when an injury caused a last minute change of plan.

There are lots of pictures on the various Photo web sites - check em out. A select few will be posted here in a day or so.
 

Sarah W - wearing the same clothes on Sunday morning as she left in on Saturday evening - after some form of fraternisation with a South African child boy "abducted" in Fez nightclub.

Whilst it may also seem like a good idea to keep sending text messages to your ex favourite cox as the evening develops, he is old, was in bed, and having his phone go BEEP BEEP every hour or so with messages like "she is dancing with a man", "she is kissing a man on the dance floor" and "she has enticed a boy away from his leggy blonde girlfriend" can cause distress.
 

On an unscheduled visit to the boathouse.

Spotted recently, Psycho Bates having gay sex a massage early one morning, nice essential oils, stripped down to his grey YSL trunks, lying face down on some form of bench..... Once Bates had left, I quizzed the "masseuse" who told me he was a bit "tight"....

Then, the next day, our own Kelly was discovered "taking a friend out in a double" - the rowers equivalent of  "would you like to come up for coffee". When this "friend" was challenged in the men's locker room (as we should all do - due to the recent thefts) and asked "sorry, I do not know you, where are you from ?" - he replied, as only an American would - UPSTATE NEW YORK !! Thank god for that, I thought he might have been a local villain.
 

Once again, young Kelly wins the award for most hours spent in a boat in a single weekend - congratulations.

Dave was the weakest link and had to cancel his Sunday morning outing "as he had a bit of a chest infection" - pathetic, and a bit gay.

So, Kelly jumped in the golden seat and took his novices out. She was later seen taking out buck new novices and remaining very calm as they flailed around in Ali Baba. If anyone wants to get involved in the novice training, let Kelly or Dave know - its good fun and very rewarding - honest.

We have also been advised that Kelly's mum reads this web site - HELLO KELLY'S MUM xxx.

So, Kelly's mum, she does not actually "like" cold pizza out of choice, she only eats it because it is all she can get, or it is all she is given. When you visit, please cook / buy her hot food - thank you.
 

Last week, our new Filippi 4 -/x was delivered and rigged as a quad, ready for the 4s Head this weekend.

It has already been out a few times, and reports are "it's great" ™ Kelly. (you have to say it in that slow, irritating, drawn out American accent to get the full effect... J )

She glides through the water, barely making a ripple. She is low maintenance and forgiving, but has a very strong inner character that should never be underestimated. Although her top half is not as big as some would like, this is more than compensated for by the sensational roundness of her bottom, or hull as we call it. She is an object of both desire and lust, but only the chosen few are ever allowed to touch her, let alone take her out on a date, sorry, outing.

Now, as you may know, it is customary to name our boats after someone in the club who has contributed over and above to the club specifically, and / or the boathouse in general.

So, the new boat will be called:

Theresa

Obviously named after the lovely Theresa Salter.

A formal date for the boat naming ceremony will be announced soon.

What has Theresa done to deserve such an accolade ?, well here is a brief rundown:

This product has come to our attention. Bit late for the 4s Head, but the 8s Head maybe ??

Or just use a Wellington boot or an open hatch......

Cygnet Female Urinal - Free UK Delivery   Cygnet Female Urinal - Free UK Delivery. A clear polypropylene moulted bottle with integral handle, anatomically shaped at the opening. Calibrated for output recording and autoclavable. Capacity 1 litre

Buy one HERE.

Also, what the hell is autoclavable ? - is this an important feature, a USP even ??

It actually means it can be used in a device that heats up aqueous solutions above their boiling point. Believe me ??
 

This weekend we received details of a couple of proposals, and a very sad departure.

Firstly, old, but still very young Novice Carrie became engaged to Ray, her long term dancing and latterly bedroom partner (but she still lives at home ?? - ed.).

Secondly, Katherine (Miss Pugh to her friends), ex but occasional stand in cox and Pairs Head Timer Extraordinaire (apart from this year, she was at a wedding...) was proposed to by Matt, classic car enthusiast and lawn mower racer (ex.).

Finally, Elle appears to have lost all her blonde hair !! - Stuart is in shock.

In the run up to the 4s Head, the club is very busy with outings after outings after outings. Sunday even had a random quad (no - not the 4s Head one...) going out with a male member sitting at bow, not doing a lot. The highlight of the outing was coming across a Thames 8 wedged on a moored pontoon just above Chiswick Eyot, complete with coaching launch shouting at them !!

Kelly wins the prize for most outings in a weekend, and on Sunday, she was in a boat pretty much from 8am till gone 1pm, either sculling or coxing. So, if you haven't, then say thank you and buy her some food (she likes cold pizza) as she is a poor student with no kitchen.

The new Filippi turns up on Monday - so hands off unless you have permission to touch it.

A few action shots of the more senior members of the 2 clubs.

The TRRC (a sort of rowing QUANGO that most rowers have never heard of) are getting a bit "police state" like and have decided on positive enforcement of the navigation rules (as laid out and explained so succinctly in the recent 54 page code of conduct for the Tideway). At some point, clubs may be awarded points (a bit like the system for motoring offences) with some very far reaching consequences.

Let us state right up front - we are NOT - repeat NOT - against rowing safely, following the rules, and living in harmony with our fellow river users.

What we are for is freedom of speech and the right to express our views that there are certain elements of the "rules" that do not actually make the river a safer place to row on, and indeed, in certain places make it down right unsafe.

Anyway, back to the story. The TRRC police are now hiding in bushes with long range camera's taking photos of you...... So, remember, always wear clean, ironed kit and make sure hair and makeup is to a standard that you are happy to see in print. Here are a couple of snaps to give you a flavour for what is in store, copyright TRRC photographer, name unknown.


Good compression coming up to the catch by Ali, squaring nice and early, blades down to the water. Leslie demonstrating a good clean finish, holding her legs down and letting the boat run as she moves to hands away. Both boats a bit far over to the bank - very very bad.

Both bowsiders reaching out around their riggers, squaring up nicely together for the catch. Person at 2 looking out the boat and (I suspect) - not tapping down, ditto stroke..... Again, the boat is too close to the bank, should be well over towards the weirdo in the bushes and causing anyone crossing a heart attack. Also note the gap between the crew and the bank on the far side is actually wider than some rivers, ie The Cam.

Foot note: all single scullers and crew boats MUST navigate as per the rules, you know what they are. However, the navigation regulations allow anyone to navigate anywhere if it means avoiding a collision. So, if someone does something strange that means you may hit them by you continuing to navigate correctly - get the hell away from them by any safe means. Its no good having a bow ball in your back and saying "but I was in the right place".

Did you know that the Pairs Head is actually run by BBLRC ? - well it is !

This year we had over 350 entries (largest ever) and not a single incident. The organising committee are sure that this was due to the hours spent writing up detailed procedures, compiling PowerPoint diagrams (not maps..) and  assessing all kinds of risks. Of course, having experienced, intelligent (mostly) and pragmatic organisers and marshals helped, but not as much as producing enough paperwork to cover the Albert Hall.

This particular suggestion did not make it into the final safety instructions:

" If you need URGENT help raise one hand and slowly move it from one side to the other covering 180 degrees horizontal to vertical to horizontal. Shout if you can. A marshal should be within sight. If it is not urgent but you need help - simply raise your hand and hold it vertically and call."

BBLRC once again had a win in the "old girls 2x event" - picture below. Is it me, or does Jackie's smile get bigger every year ? - and what is Theresa looking at ???

A HUGE thank you to all the club members who pitched in, from chairing the Management Team, to making a few sandwiches or making some very nice ginger cup cakes (the best a cox can get I tell you !).



This and other photos available from eliot george.
 

Whilst sitting up on deck, flicking through this months LOOP (a newspaper for aviators.... www.loop.aero) - I spotted a story about the Grumman F14 Tomcat being retired from active service. For those of you who do not know, the F14 Tomcat was the main aircraft featured in Top Gun, that great movie featuring the beautiful Kelly McGillis and that short bloke Cruise. Its retirement plan even has its own web site.

Es and I have been asked to star in a similar movie - Top Cox.

She takes your breath away........

I know that virtually NO member of BBLRC is remotely interested in all this, but the web boy really does have a slight tear in his eye, it was his favourite plane and Top Gun is his favourite movie !!!

A few good links:

Top Gun quotes - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092099/quotes (some of these might creep into coxing commands...)
F14 pictures & info - http://www.voodoo.cz/tomcat/

Huma is in the news, well the Independent anyway, having a go at Jack Straw. She is described as a "NON VEILED MUSLIM", well she is if it gets her in a national newspaper, but as can be seen below, if it gets a bit cold, she soon covers up. At least she would not expect anyone to dress like her - now that is a relief.....

In the picture below, for the avoidance of doubt - Huma is the one on the left.

Printed in The Times 4th Oct. 2006.

John Bull March 20, 1912 - August 18, 2006   Coach who propelled women's rowing

As a coach John Bull made a significant contribution to British women's rowing in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Born in 1912, he started work aged 14 as a Post Office messenger. He began rowing at the Cygnet Rowing Club in the early 1930s, winning pots at Thames Cup level and only pausing for the war years when he served as a Royal Navy telegraphist on minesweepers in the Atlantic and along the D-Day beaches. The Civil Service Ladies Rowing Club (now Barnes Bridge Ladies) claimed him in 1968. The squad was small, and there was competition from the Rolling Stones, Joan Baez and Vietnam marches. But Bull's monkish diligence and gentlemanly charm produced excellent results. If he said "Stand up in the boat," they stood up; if he said "Balance the blade with your right leg," they did it. In 1970 his women won the keenly contested Head of River VIIIs, and four of them, rowing for England, won the first Home Countries event at Molesey, while the other four won the Elites at Bedford. Bull now set his sights on the World Championships and on Olympic events that would not be open to women until later that decade. He prepared the VIII to race internationally at the Bosbaan in Amsterdam, but the British women could not compete with the power of the East Germans, and had more success in single and double sculls. Within a few years, however, Civil Service women in the national squad were training and racing to international success in small boats. By making it a competitive force, Bull helped to put the women's club on the national scene. In 1972 they recorded more than 30 wins, including the Victor Ludorum trophy at the National Championships and the Barclays Bank Trophy at Nottingham International. Bull retired from coaching the women in 1973 and returned to his own club, Cygnet, as senior vice-president (and chief consultant for mixed VIIIs crews). Until quite recently he kept a vegetable garden behind the boat shed, with prize-winning runner beans growing up old rowing blades. John Bull, rowing coach, was born on March 20, 1912. He died on August 18, 2006, aged 94.

Sarah T, previously on many a Cygnet's top 5 list, married James recently. Here are some photo's of the happy day.
 

Stunning bride

Lucky groom

On the shelf friends

How a lot of us remember her.....

Last Friday saw yet another cross club amalgamation.

T married Ian (aka Geordie) on a glorious sunny day somewhere outside the M25.

The Bride and Bridesmaid look stunning, the Groom looks stunned, the Best Man looks at the brides cleavage.


 

Sunday saw our first ever trip to Cambridge Regatta, and after winning virtually everything, I am not sure we will be welcome back....

The crews were:
 

The Senior 2, 3 & 4 crews all won, leading from start to finish, with the Novice 4 leading from the start, taking a length on the oppo, up until about 2/3 distance when the oppo capitalised on a slight wobble and came up level, eventually winning by a canvas. It was so close, the buzzer went "beep beep" with neither crew really knowing who had won. Despite not winning, this novice crew were the real stars of the day, having only set foot and bottom in a boat in May this year. They lost simply due to lack of race experience, not guts, determination or ability. Next season, watch them romp home.

Elsewhere.....

The S2 crew, with the newly wed Mary at 3 instead of the newly departed Jenny, dominated the race like a well oiled machine, the result never being in question. When the oppo did a push and started coming back on them, a quick "up 2 go !" call and back they went.

The S3 International crew, (all non British Citizens.....) also led from start to finish, putting in a strong performance all the way to the line.

The S4 crew, now here is another story. The original crew decided not to race for a number of reasons. So, we had an entry in, but no crew. So, a bit of head scratching, and basically, a crew was assembled from members of the other crews who would be racing, including Carrie who strokes the novice boat. A quick pre race outing that confirmed that everything worked, and off they went. Attention - GO - rating 42 off the start, yet another race where we lead from start to finish.

Well done to Carrie, new novice who had her first win with BBLRC in the S4 4+. Well done Kelly, just back from the States who picked up 2 pots. Well done Margaret, more senior novice (???), picking up 2 pots as well, and of course, Captain Annelise who also picked up 2 rowing pots, as well as a 3rd pot coxing the International crew. Dave also picked up 2 pots, but only coxing, so no real effort required.

But, the best things about the whole day ???

1) not a single point awarded, as all the races were non qualifying.
2) every pot winner got a free drink - so Steph & Robin were over the moon.....

Finally, when travelling to somewhere where you have never been before, look at a map and / or take someone with you who can navigate. It should not take 1.5 hours from Cambridge town centre to the course.....
 

Saturday morning, during outings, someone left the inside door propped open with a rock. So, the local scum bags came in and stole several wallets and phones from the men's changing rooms, including the webmasters !!

Never ever ever prop the door open, unfortunately this is the environment we live in.

If you see someone you do not know, CHALLENGE THEM and if required, tell them to leave and call the police.

We have a lot of new faces at the moment, so it could be tricky, but simple questions will usually spook a crim, like "what side do you row...." or "who is the Captain, deputy Captain etc etc".

If you do have to leave valuables in the changing room, think about getting a locker (speak to one of the Captains) or simply put them somewhere less obvious than a coat pocket or the end of a sports bag.
 

Robin demonstrating the ancient art of carb loading prior to a gruelling winter training program.



 

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and remain cautious when offered a drink by any woman.
 
Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in cans, bottles, or from taps and in large "kegs."
 
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach.  After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.
 
After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."   In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."
   
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
 
If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the Yellow Pages.

For a video to see how beer works copy cut an paste if it doesn't link:

http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf